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The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugPetty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugPetty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
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WASHINGTON D.C. – Governments are cracking down on developers writing open source code. Incarcerating these developers has changed their way of life, both for developers in jail, and out of jail. Multiple instances of police intervention around the world against coders writing open source code has been much more brutal in sentencing than those of other criminals. The actions of these officials has spawned the term, coder brutality.
The main instance sparking the uproar had one coder pinned down by police as he tried to speak out, "please get off my neck, I can't code".
Certain open source developers have shared experiences of their new lives behind bars. Telling reporters that, "every time North Korea hacks another protocol, they put me in the hole for two weeks".
Some developers have resorted to coding in ink, by getting tattoos of a certain government sanctioned code on their body. One security focused inmate told us that he has his private keys tattooed on the inside of his butt cheeks, claiming, "it puts a whole new meaning to, 'don't drop the soap'".
CodersInCrimeDAO, a notorious group of anonymous black hat hackers have also decided to avoid sanctions. They don't want to go up against OFAC, so they will just go back to laundering their money in cash.
FreeRossDAO has pledged to bake a cake for every open source developer behind bars.
If you want more of the hardest hitting headlines and articles straight to your inbox subscribe to The Rug’s Newsletter.
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WASHINGTON D.C. – Governments are cracking down on developers writing open source code. Incarcerating these developers has changed their way of life, both for developers in jail, and out of jail. Multiple instances of police intervention around the world against coders writing open source code has been much more brutal in sentencing than those of other criminals. The actions of these officials has spawned the term, coder brutality.
The main instance sparking the uproar had one coder pinned down by police as he tried to speak out, "please get off my neck, I can't code".
Certain open source developers have shared experiences of their new lives behind bars. Telling reporters that, "every time North Korea hacks another protocol, they put me in the hole for two weeks".
Some developers have resorted to coding in ink, by getting tattoos of a certain government sanctioned code on their body. One security focused inmate told us that he has his private keys tattooed on the inside of his butt cheeks, claiming, "it puts a whole new meaning to, 'don't drop the soap'".
CodersInCrimeDAO, a notorious group of anonymous black hat hackers have also decided to avoid sanctions. They don't want to go up against OFAC, so they will just go back to laundering their money in cash.
FreeRossDAO has pledged to bake a cake for every open source developer behind bars.
If you want more of the hardest hitting headlines and articles straight to your inbox subscribe to The Rug’s Newsletter.
subscribe://
collect://
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