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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Republican party just had its highest profile defection today in its wild attempt at electing the next Speaker Of the House as House Majority Whip Tom Emmer cast his Speaker vote for the pseudonymous and mysterious founder of Bitcoin, Satoshi Nakamoto.
In doing so, Emmer broke with both the mainstream of the Republican Party and its extreme wing. Democratic Congressmen collectively rolled their eyes at the vote before turning to each other and asking “Who is that?” and “Is that a QAnon thing?”.
“It’s time for party loyalty to take a back seat to the needs of the nation,“ Emmer said after the vote. “Satoshi is the best candidate to address our nation’s inflation issues and the best candidate to get this next crypto bull run started.”
The 20 Republicans who are refusing to vote for Rep. Kevin McCarthy are torn about the surprise vote.
“Any vote against McCarthy is a vote for America First,” Rep. Matt Gaetz crowed. “But ‘Satoshi Nakamoto’? That’s got a bit of an…ethnic…vibe to it, right? Did Emmer just vote for a Japanese person to run the American government?”
Rep. McCarthy couldn’t be reached for comment, but his office promptly released a draft of future legislation entitled “Preventing The Next ISIS By Eliminating The Transnational Threat Of Bitcoin.”
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Republican party just had its highest profile defection today in its wild attempt at electing the next Speaker Of the House as House Majority Whip Tom Emmer cast his Speaker vote for the pseudonymous and mysterious founder of Bitcoin, Satoshi Nakamoto.
In doing so, Emmer broke with both the mainstream of the Republican Party and its extreme wing. Democratic Congressmen collectively rolled their eyes at the vote before turning to each other and asking “Who is that?” and “Is that a QAnon thing?”.
“It’s time for party loyalty to take a back seat to the needs of the nation,“ Emmer said after the vote. “Satoshi is the best candidate to address our nation’s inflation issues and the best candidate to get this next crypto bull run started.”
The 20 Republicans who are refusing to vote for Rep. Kevin McCarthy are torn about the surprise vote.
“Any vote against McCarthy is a vote for America First,” Rep. Matt Gaetz crowed. “But ‘Satoshi Nakamoto’? That’s got a bit of an…ethnic…vibe to it, right? Did Emmer just vote for a Japanese person to run the American government?”
Rep. McCarthy couldn’t be reached for comment, but his office promptly released a draft of future legislation entitled “Preventing The Next ISIS By Eliminating The Transnational Threat Of Bitcoin.”
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
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