
Vitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...

Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...

Petty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
Web3's mostly credible news source. We take money, seriously.

Vitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...

Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...

Petty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
Web3's mostly credible news source. We take money, seriously.

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PHOENIX - Steve Bogan, a real lowlife scumbag, is getting larger airdrops than you are.
Bogan, who is known to pick up items in the grocery store and then leave them wherever the fuck he wants to, has already gotten massive airdrops from Optimism, Hop, and ENS.
On-chain, Bogan looks like freaking Kevin Owocki. He has donated over two ETH in Gitcoin grants to a number of wonderful public goods projects that he couldn't give two shits about, and he's already reaped massive airdrop rewards as a direct result from those donations. Bogan doesn't belong in jail, but that's only because it's not technically illegal to play your shitty, loud music on the train without headphones, or to sell your ridiculously large OP airdrop on day one.
This dirtbag is getting bigger airdrops than you, and he's going to keep getting them. Bogan minted twelve Poolys, not because he gives a shit about saving Pool Together, but because he wants future airdrop teams to keep on thinking that he's a good person, despite the fact that he will ask for six different ice cream samples when he’s at the front of the line. He even asked for chocolate twice, because he "forgot what it tasted like."
Future airdrop teams will need to find a way to screen for pieces of shit who don't RSVP to a wedding, but then show up anyway with a plus one and no gift. But until that happens, Bogan will keep getting larger airdrops than you.
For more mostly credible Web3 news, follow us @therugnews or subscribe to our newsletter.
PHOENIX - Steve Bogan, a real lowlife scumbag, is getting larger airdrops than you are.
Bogan, who is known to pick up items in the grocery store and then leave them wherever the fuck he wants to, has already gotten massive airdrops from Optimism, Hop, and ENS.
On-chain, Bogan looks like freaking Kevin Owocki. He has donated over two ETH in Gitcoin grants to a number of wonderful public goods projects that he couldn't give two shits about, and he's already reaped massive airdrop rewards as a direct result from those donations. Bogan doesn't belong in jail, but that's only because it's not technically illegal to play your shitty, loud music on the train without headphones, or to sell your ridiculously large OP airdrop on day one.
This dirtbag is getting bigger airdrops than you, and he's going to keep getting them. Bogan minted twelve Poolys, not because he gives a shit about saving Pool Together, but because he wants future airdrop teams to keep on thinking that he's a good person, despite the fact that he will ask for six different ice cream samples when he’s at the front of the line. He even asked for chocolate twice, because he "forgot what it tasted like."
Future airdrop teams will need to find a way to screen for pieces of shit who don't RSVP to a wedding, but then show up anyway with a plus one and no gift. But until that happens, Bogan will keep getting larger airdrops than you.
For more mostly credible Web3 news, follow us @therugnews or subscribe to our newsletter.
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