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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — A team of NASA astronomers discovered a new asteroid in our solar system today that contains a previously unaccounted for supply of approximately 1.98 million bitcoins. The asteroid has been nicknamed “Satoshi.”
“I was shocked,” says Juyong Kim, lead astronomer. “We were expecting to find metals — gold, silver, maybe platinum — but it never crossed my mind that we might find bitcoins in there, too. How does that even work?”
Michael Saylor argues that the asteroid should be destroyed and the bitcoins burned. “Satoshi was right when he picked a supply of 21 million. It’s the legal drinking age, it’s what you try to get in blackjack, it’s divisible by seven. 23 million would be a disaster.”
Other voices in the community are less certain. “Satoshi’s whitepaper didn’t leave any instructions about what to do if we found a bunch of bitcoins in an asteroid,” says Eric Vorhees, bitcoin investor. “I think everyone should be free to make whatever choices they want regarding the asteroid without government interference. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a call with SpaceX on a completely unrelated matter.”
This discovery makes Satoshi (the asteroid) the largest holder of Bitcoin, followed by regular Satoshi, and the Winklevoss twins a distant third. When asked for comment, Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss declined to say anything about the asteroid, but said they were working on a new song that would explain exactly how they feel about it.
Despite the dilution of supply, Bitcoin is up 11%.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A team of NASA astronomers discovered a new asteroid in our solar system today that contains a previously unaccounted for supply of approximately 1.98 million bitcoins. The asteroid has been nicknamed “Satoshi.”
“I was shocked,” says Juyong Kim, lead astronomer. “We were expecting to find metals — gold, silver, maybe platinum — but it never crossed my mind that we might find bitcoins in there, too. How does that even work?”
Michael Saylor argues that the asteroid should be destroyed and the bitcoins burned. “Satoshi was right when he picked a supply of 21 million. It’s the legal drinking age, it’s what you try to get in blackjack, it’s divisible by seven. 23 million would be a disaster.”
Other voices in the community are less certain. “Satoshi’s whitepaper didn’t leave any instructions about what to do if we found a bunch of bitcoins in an asteroid,” says Eric Vorhees, bitcoin investor. “I think everyone should be free to make whatever choices they want regarding the asteroid without government interference. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a call with SpaceX on a completely unrelated matter.”
This discovery makes Satoshi (the asteroid) the largest holder of Bitcoin, followed by regular Satoshi, and the Winklevoss twins a distant third. When asked for comment, Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss declined to say anything about the asteroid, but said they were working on a new song that would explain exactly how they feel about it.
Despite the dilution of supply, Bitcoin is up 11%.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
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