Well it’s January and we’ve cooked up a new issue of The Rug’s newspaper-style NFT. The Rug is pleased to deliver this material as a free collectible if you subscribe to our Friday emails.All Friday articles are delivered to your inbox and are mintable on Optimism. Thanks for walking down the satirical-crypto rabbit hole with us, and remember, “always bring a ladder.” The Rug Vol II Issue #1 had 189 unique wallet addresses collect and that issue is available on the secondary market under this...

Well it’s January and we’ve cooked up a new issue of The Rug’s newspaper-style NFT. The Rug is pleased to deliver this material as a free collectible if you subscribe to our Friday emails.All Friday articles are delivered to your inbox and are mintable on Optimism. Thanks for walking down the satirical-crypto rabbit hole with us, and remember, “always bring a ladder.” The Rug Vol II Issue #1 had 189 unique wallet addresses collect and that issue is available on the secondary market under this...

NEW YORK CITY — CEL token has rallied 147% since yesterday, when Judge Martin Glenn ordered that Celsius’ remaining assets be put under custody of OpenAI’s chatbot, ChatGPT. “They [the depositors] need a capable, strong decision maker at the helm,” said Glenn. “Which is why this court has decided to turn over full control of the assets to ChatGPT.” This decision has received broad support from both sides, particularly the depositors, who until now have had to watch as their remaining assets g...

NEW YORK CITY — CEL token has rallied 147% since yesterday, when Judge Martin Glenn ordered that Celsius’ remaining assets be put under custody of OpenAI’s chatbot, ChatGPT. “They [the depositors] need a capable, strong decision maker at the helm,” said Glenn. “Which is why this court has decided to turn over full control of the assets to ChatGPT.” This decision has received broad support from both sides, particularly the depositors, who until now have had to watch as their remaining assets g...

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Republican party just had its highest profile defection today in its wild attempt at electing the next Speaker Of the House as House Majority Whip Tom Emmer cast his Speaker vote for the pseudonymous and mysterious founder of Bitcoin, Satoshi Nakamoto. In doing so, Emmer broke with both the mainstream of the Republican Party and its extreme wing. Democratic Congressmen collectively rolled their eyes at the vote before turning to each other and asking “Who is that?” and ...

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Republican party just had its highest profile defection today in its wild attempt at electing the next Speaker Of the House as House Majority Whip Tom Emmer cast his Speaker vote for the pseudonymous and mysterious founder of Bitcoin, Satoshi Nakamoto. In doing so, Emmer broke with both the mainstream of the Republican Party and its extreme wing. Democratic Congressmen collectively rolled their eyes at the vote before turning to each other and asking “Who is that?” and ...

DOVER — Backward cap crypto bros and meme slingers alike rejoice as Dogecoin secures its place as the right hand of the PoW throne. Following the Ethereum network's proof-of-stake (PoS) upgrade earlier this year, the granddaddy of all meme coins, Dogecoin (DOGE), officially became the second largest proof-of-work (PoW) cryptocurrency. While ETH maxis were busy trying to decide what to do with the rest of their lives, and Bitcoiners continued to deny the existence of "altcoins" altogether...

DOVER — Backward cap crypto bros and meme slingers alike rejoice as Dogecoin secures its place as the right hand of the PoW throne. Following the Ethereum network's proof-of-stake (PoS) upgrade earlier this year, the granddaddy of all meme coins, Dogecoin (DOGE), officially became the second largest proof-of-work (PoW) cryptocurrency. While ETH maxis were busy trying to decide what to do with the rest of their lives, and Bitcoiners continued to deny the existence of "altcoins" altogether...

The Rug is web3’s mostly-trusted news source. If NFTs are the future of ownership, we’re the future of satire. Think The Onion, but we actually understand (and like) crypto. Thanks to our partners at Mirror, we’re proud to offer a limited-time FREE mint of our December 2022 NFT, minting from now through December 21st. Our content is always free, but future flagship NFTs will be collectible for a small fee. It’s like we always say: We take money, seriously. If you like what you see, check us o...

The Rug is web3’s mostly-trusted news source. If NFTs are the future of ownership, we’re the future of satire. Think The Onion, but we actually understand (and like) crypto. Thanks to our partners at Mirror, we’re proud to offer a limited-time FREE mint of our December 2022 NFT, minting from now through December 21st. Our content is always free, but future flagship NFTs will be collectible for a small fee. It’s like we always say: We take money, seriously. If you like what you see, check us o...

BANGALORE — Polygon Technology today announced a major brand pivot, renaming itself Polyhedron after acquiring a completely new dimension. The move comes on the heels of a partnership announcement spree with brands as far reaching as Starbucks, JPMorgan, and Instagram. "We've come to realize that we've been a bit closed minded in limiting our acquisitions and partnerships to this plane of existence" said Co-Founder Jaynti Kanani in a statement. "We feel many of our competitors are s...

BANGALORE — Polygon Technology today announced a major brand pivot, renaming itself Polyhedron after acquiring a completely new dimension. The move comes on the heels of a partnership announcement spree with brands as far reaching as Starbucks, JPMorgan, and Instagram. "We've come to realize that we've been a bit closed minded in limiting our acquisitions and partnerships to this plane of existence" said Co-Founder Jaynti Kanani in a statement. "We feel many of our competitors are s...

INDIANAPOLIS — After months of preparation and marketing, former Vice President Mike Pence failed to get a single person to mint one of his NFTs during the project’s first week. Pence promised major utility for any holders, prizes included: a voicemail recording from Mike himself, a 20-minute chat over frothy glasses of milk, Bible Study, a 1-on-1 meeting (with the door open and other witness present if you’re a woman), or a trip to gay conversion therapy for you or a friend. “This was suppos...

INDIANAPOLIS — After months of preparation and marketing, former Vice President Mike Pence failed to get a single person to mint one of his NFTs during the project’s first week. Pence promised major utility for any holders, prizes included: a voicemail recording from Mike himself, a 20-minute chat over frothy glasses of milk, Bible Study, a 1-on-1 meeting (with the door open and other witness present if you’re a woman), or a trip to gay conversion therapy for you or a friend. “This was suppos...

WRIGLEYVILLE — Ethereum’s stretchy mainnet is simply no longer the industry’s only tasty solution. The engineers at Offchain Labs teased an elastic new solution they’ve been cooking up. But the question on everyone’s mind about the new flavor, Arbitr-yum, is wen gumdrop? "They say "bear markets are for buidling" so we're planning to release a new product in line with our 10x mantra," said Offchain Labs Co-Founder Steven Goldfeder. "Once the Tubble is out of the tube, that’s it, there is ...

WRIGLEYVILLE — Ethereum’s stretchy mainnet is simply no longer the industry’s only tasty solution. The engineers at Offchain Labs teased an elastic new solution they’ve been cooking up. But the question on everyone’s mind about the new flavor, Arbitr-yum, is wen gumdrop? "They say "bear markets are for buidling" so we're planning to release a new product in line with our 10x mantra," said Offchain Labs Co-Founder Steven Goldfeder. "Once the Tubble is out of the tube, that’s it, there is ...

COLORADO — While excavating a mountainside for a highway tunnel near Aspen, construction workers stumbled upon a group of self-described “miners”. Strangely, these miners had no mining gear, even though their location was right at the edge of an old, defunct coal mine. They were carrying around laptops and what looked to be large CPUs, first asking their rescuers about WiFi access instead of water or food. “They were all in their late 40s, I’d say, and seemed most concerned with finding a pla...

COLORADO — While excavating a mountainside for a highway tunnel near Aspen, construction workers stumbled upon a group of self-described “miners”. Strangely, these miners had no mining gear, even though their location was right at the edge of an old, defunct coal mine. They were carrying around laptops and what looked to be large CPUs, first asking their rescuers about WiFi access instead of water or food. “They were all in their late 40s, I’d say, and seemed most concerned with finding a pla...

“NFT Incoming!”AIRDROP — All Vol. 1 OG Crypto-Comedy collectors have been airdropped this limited edition NFT, ‘The Adventures of Lil Ruggy! written by Frank America, and illustrated by Cosmic Clancy, which explores the life of a rap phenom Lil Ruggy, and his journey through fortune and fame. The character was born out of The Rug, a crypto satire news rag written in the style of The Onion. Lil Ruggy first appeared in Vol. 1 Issue #3 of The Rug in a headline where he purportedly was set to co-...

“NFT Incoming!”AIRDROP — All Vol. 1 OG Crypto-Comedy collectors have been airdropped this limited edition NFT, ‘The Adventures of Lil Ruggy! written by Frank America, and illustrated by Cosmic Clancy, which explores the life of a rap phenom Lil Ruggy, and his journey through fortune and fame. The character was born out of The Rug, a crypto satire news rag written in the style of The Onion. Lil Ruggy first appeared in Vol. 1 Issue #3 of The Rug in a headline where he purportedly was set to co-...

HAPPY NEW YEAR — It's time once again to ring in the new year with a series of passing statements that you probably won't follow through on. That's right, a new year of misplaced enthusiasm, rampant price speculation, and unkept promises is just beginning, and The Rug is bringing you the best because we take Top 10 lists, seriously. Buckle up:10. Spring clean my “hidden” tab on OpenSea (without getting scammed)9. Show my face at work8. Find out what "DAO" really stands for7. DM...

HAPPY NEW YEAR — It's time once again to ring in the new year with a series of passing statements that you probably won't follow through on. That's right, a new year of misplaced enthusiasm, rampant price speculation, and unkept promises is just beginning, and The Rug is bringing you the best because we take Top 10 lists, seriously. Buckle up:10. Spring clean my “hidden” tab on OpenSea (without getting scammed)9. Show my face at work8. Find out what "DAO" really stands for7. DM...

CHARLOTTESVILLE — The holiday season can be a time for reflection and introspection, and for one young man, it has proven to be a humbling experience. David L. Sinclaire, a student at a local university, realized that when it comes to his investments in the volatile cryptocurrency market that his mother was right all along. One year ago, when he was high on money, Mountain Dew, and alt coins, David brushed off his mother's advice to take some profits and instead doubled down on his inves...

CHARLOTTESVILLE — The holiday season can be a time for reflection and introspection, and for one young man, it has proven to be a humbling experience. David L. Sinclaire, a student at a local university, realized that when it comes to his investments in the volatile cryptocurrency market that his mother was right all along. One year ago, when he was high on money, Mountain Dew, and alt coins, David brushed off his mother's advice to take some profits and instead doubled down on his inves...