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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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COLORADO — While excavating a mountainside for a highway tunnel near Aspen, construction workers stumbled upon a group of self-described “miners”. Strangely, these miners had no mining gear, even though their location was right at the edge of an old, defunct coal mine. They were carrying around laptops and what looked to be large CPUs, first asking their rescuers about WiFi access instead of water or food.
“They were all in their late 40s, I’d say, and seemed most concerned with finding a place to plug in their computers,” said Howie Patterson, one of the rescuers. “They started on some lecture about why work was better than steak or something, but they lost me early in that discussion,” he added.
The self-described miners had been there since about mid-September, they claimed, when they had to “go underground” to “preserve the true Ethereum network.” Medical staff onsite said that delusional behavior like this was a regular symptom of dehydration.
“We’ll get them hydrated, fed and rested,” said EMT Michael Blatterson, “then we can help them slowly accept the reality that the ETH proof-of-work hard fork was a bad idea and they better sell their equipment before it is just as worthless as ETHW.”
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
COLORADO — While excavating a mountainside for a highway tunnel near Aspen, construction workers stumbled upon a group of self-described “miners”. Strangely, these miners had no mining gear, even though their location was right at the edge of an old, defunct coal mine. They were carrying around laptops and what looked to be large CPUs, first asking their rescuers about WiFi access instead of water or food.
“They were all in their late 40s, I’d say, and seemed most concerned with finding a place to plug in their computers,” said Howie Patterson, one of the rescuers. “They started on some lecture about why work was better than steak or something, but they lost me early in that discussion,” he added.
The self-described miners had been there since about mid-September, they claimed, when they had to “go underground” to “preserve the true Ethereum network.” Medical staff onsite said that delusional behavior like this was a regular symptom of dehydration.
“We’ll get them hydrated, fed and rested,” said EMT Michael Blatterson, “then we can help them slowly accept the reality that the ETH proof-of-work hard fork was a bad idea and they better sell their equipment before it is just as worthless as ETHW.”
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
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