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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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CHICAGO — The SEC continued its campaign of crackdowns by crashing the March meeting of the National Cryptozoology Society (NCS).
A low-res video recording of the meeting appears to show Mr. Eric Bruness, a hirsute junior member of the SEC, stalking around the room and yelling at the bewildered society members. “All these weird pictures—that striped deer, the skinny goat thing, the big fish--are securities, and you need to report them on your taxes!” he says.
The members attempted to explain that cryptozoology is about finding and identifying unknown animals. He blew them off, saying, “Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard all about Web3 gaming. None of this blockchain bull will ever beat Pokémon Go!”
The society eventually convinced Mr. Bruness to leave after promising that they would report all security trading on their 2023 tax returns. In response to later questions, Mr. Bruness said, “They played innocent, but I know how to identify NFTs. They’re drawings that look like the artist went nuts. I’m going to root out all this illegal trading and make Mr. Gensler proud.”
“I don’t know what he was talking about,” said Alejandro Jackson, vice president of NCS. “Our NFT collection doesn’t drop until May. Get on the whitelist at CryptidsFurever.eth!”
Bitcoin is up 0.042% on the news.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
CHICAGO — The SEC continued its campaign of crackdowns by crashing the March meeting of the National Cryptozoology Society (NCS).
A low-res video recording of the meeting appears to show Mr. Eric Bruness, a hirsute junior member of the SEC, stalking around the room and yelling at the bewildered society members. “All these weird pictures—that striped deer, the skinny goat thing, the big fish--are securities, and you need to report them on your taxes!” he says.
The members attempted to explain that cryptozoology is about finding and identifying unknown animals. He blew them off, saying, “Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard all about Web3 gaming. None of this blockchain bull will ever beat Pokémon Go!”
The society eventually convinced Mr. Bruness to leave after promising that they would report all security trading on their 2023 tax returns. In response to later questions, Mr. Bruness said, “They played innocent, but I know how to identify NFTs. They’re drawings that look like the artist went nuts. I’m going to root out all this illegal trading and make Mr. Gensler proud.”
“I don’t know what he was talking about,” said Alejandro Jackson, vice president of NCS. “Our NFT collection doesn’t drop until May. Get on the whitelist at CryptidsFurever.eth!”
Bitcoin is up 0.042% on the news.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
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