It's strange how time can change a person's viewpoint on things. I've been playing with the idea of Rubik's Cubing things. What I mean by this is taking a concept and messing with it's dimensions in order to get a new perspective on the idea, and one of those dimensions is the time itself.

Let's take a simple example: say you're playing a video game. You fire up the console and boot up something like GoldenEye, or the original Halo, or some such game from the early 2000s. These games were impressive pieces of software and brought the form forward. However, if you were to test out the new Halo game, or a Call of Duty, or something like that from this year, you can see just how far that video games have come since even 20 years ago. Now, let's flip that scenario: let's say you played GTA V before you played a game like GTA: Vice City. The graphics, sound design, and gameplay are much more advanced in the later game than the earlier one, so Vice City just doesn't seem as good. This is all just because you played the later game before you played the earlier one, and your baseline of what the standard should be is automatically higher simply as a function of time.

Time isn't the only dimension here that you can flip around. Peoples' tastes, habits, preferences, and overall perspective are just as influenced by when they came across as it is influenced by such parameters as origin (who or where the concept came from), method (how it came to be), and motive (why it came to be).

I'm starting to notice something.

When people speak and I don't feel like we are on the same frequency, I get immensely bored. Especially when the subject matter they are speaking about is not interesting to me. I'm not particularly proud of it and it's something that I want to improve. However, it does help me realize that there are a wide variety of people in this world, and not everyone is going to be like you. That's humbling.

The questions arising, to me at least, are these: how do you get along with those people? When you do engage a person in conversation, how do you pay attention and give them the respect they deserve without bringing the topic of conversation back onto you?

The last one in particular resonates with me quite deeply, and it's something I've been actively trying to work on. I notice at times that I will swing a conversation towards me. It's not because I'm selfish but rather because I am genuinely trying to relate to the speaker. I can see, though, that the speaker is trying to tell me something about themselves, and I can understand how they would perceive me as a selfish person who is trying to hog the spotlight.

One way I've learned to mitigate this bad behavior (at least I view it to be such) is by asking questions and actively listening. Active listening is one of those terms that gets thrown around a lot, that everyone thinks that they do, and no one can seem to get to an agreed-upon definition. For the sake of this piece though, let's use the Oxford definition of "active listening":

the practice of engaging closely with what a speaker is saying and indicating understanding, typically by asking relevant questions, using gestures, and summarizing.

It seems like a relatively easy thing to do, doesn't it? So why is it so hard?

I have a theory on this. I personally believe that a person who is actively listening but finds it difficult to not derail the conversation unto themselves really is trying to do these things because they genuinely want to relate to the speaker but don't know how. We tend to ask questions to get answers that we are curious to find out for ourselves, not for another person to explore for themselves. I've always held the belief that anyone who have any issues between them are able to resolve their differences over a beer or a cup of coffee. The reason I believe this is because the way that would happen is if both parties are 1. genuinely listening to the other person's point of view, but, more importantly, 2. because they have to give the other person the floor in order to do so.

A listener selflessly giving someone else an opportunity to explain their point of view puts the listener in a position to take a step back and become the passive party in a conversation. It puts themselves on the back ropes, in order to utilize a boxing term here. The listener, being in such a position, must analyze the outputs coming from the other party. In order to make sure that the speaker is respected, heard, and appropriately responded to, the listener needs to take their words, analyze it, and choose an appropriate response.

And sometimes, the appropriate response is no response at all.

That's all I have for today. Let's get after it today and revisit our thoughts tomorrow.

Vivek

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, and I'd like to begin today's post by showing my thanks, gratitude, appreciation, and love for all the family and friends in my life, the adversities that I am faced with which allow me to become a stronger person, and the strength to move forward. I am thankful for life and for being alive.

I'm currently trying something new. I'm on the indoor bike and writing this on my phone as I'm exercising. I've come to love my exercise time, as I feel that more than physical benefits I get mental clarity. This time is essentially what Jordan Peterson calls "voluntary self-sacrifice": it allows me to do something difficult, self-initiated on my own terms, and which will inevitably make me better in the future.

Writing these posts has allowed me to practice the art of what I call "thought sh*ts": essentially brain dumping onto the blank page. I also make all the artwork that I present on these posts' headers. Sometimes I stare at them before I write in order to get some inspiration, sometimes I draw them after, and sometimes I draw separately from writing. I feel that these posts are connecting my mental and visual states at that specific moment in time and allows me to sort of round out my brain dumps in a more visual way.

I was thinking about something yesterday: it really is annoying to me that people these days bypass Thanksgiving decorations and go straight to Christmas. Christmas really has become such a commercial holiday that I feel like it's losing its meaning and spirit. I remember in Catholic school we used to light Advent candles and to to Church during the Christmas season. We'd play out the Nativity scene on state (I was the North Star in the play), and learn about what Christmas really symbolizes: new beginnings, appreciating your family and loved ones, and making sacrifices. I hope that this is something that we as a society can come back to.

At the end, it all comes back to sacrifice. Maybe that's what I'll title this post.

Either way, it's time for me to continue my workout, so I'll end it off here. Let's get after it today and revisit our thoughts tomorrow. I wish you all a happy beginning of the holiday season!

Vivek