
I drink coffee every morning. That moment is one of the happiest parts of my day. But I’ve rarely thought about the journey that coffee took to reach me. The fact that somewhere far away in Africa, someone sweated under the sun to pick green berries that traveled a long road to arrive here. That truth, I’ve never really treated as important.
The things we take for granted often hide amazing stories. Take sand, for example. Until I read Ed Conway’s Material World recently, I had no idea how much work and distance ordinary sand goes through before becoming the core material for semiconductors. The sand I see every day on Miami Beach has traveled around the world, been processed and refined, and somehow ended up at the center of the most important industry of our time. I could never have imagined that.
Relationships are the same. We often judge people by their looks, a short conversation, or a few photos on social media. And we do it with great confidence. But how accurate are those judgments?
A mother on the subway who doesn’t stop her running child may look rude. But what if she just learned her husband had died and is riding the subway with her child in grief?
A nanny smiling over lunch with a family might actually be sharing a last meal before suddenly leaving the U.S., forced out by visa disadvantages tied to her country of origin.
A tough-looking man covered in tattoos might secretly enjoy baking Earl Grey cookies at home. How often do we really see the full picture?
As an investor and business owner, I often have to make decisions with limited time and information. Over the years, I’ve gotten better at making choices more effectively, but the thought “I could be wrong” has only grown stronger. Rather than chasing absolute certainty, I’ve built the habit of questioning and testing the assumptions behind each decision. No choice is ever perfect, but I’ve learned that this process consistently improves their quality.
Seen more broadly, life is the same. There is no pain that lasts forever, and no success that is eternal. When things go well, I try to remember that my assumptions can always fail. When things are hard, I remind myself that suffering is not forever. The same goes for others’ judgments on me whether criticism or praise. Their opinions are built on narrow contexts and their own assumptions. I accept both criticism and praise, but I try not to let them wound me or make me arrogant. Otherwise, as Marcus Aurelius said, I would be letting others move into my head and control my life.
Judgment is never easy. But if we keep the curiosity to uncover and test the hidden assumptions behind it, I believe we can reach a higher quality—not only in our relationships with people, but also in how we engage with the world, and in the countless business decisions we face.
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Steve Lee
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