
Mom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...

Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...

Vitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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Mom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...

Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...

Vitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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NEW YORK CITY — In light of the recent bankruptcies of Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation has issued a definitely in character blanket policy update.
At an emergency press conference their spokesperson said, “While we can appreciate that our only liability was up to a quarter of a million dollars, as we’ve said for decades, in this instance we wanted to insure deposits up to a certain amount, or whatever depositors decided to keep at that bank, whichever is greater.”
A Financial Data Analyst Todd Carlson, from the Venture Capital firm Piranha Capital, had this to say about the recent FDIC maneuver, “There’s been a sense of panic across the nation that people’s money is no longer safe, but this is a clear message from the FDIC to all depositors that your money is safe, even if it isn’t fiscally responsible to insure that, such as with risky mortgage backed securities, venture capital, or if the bank lights were to light it on fire, no matter what, regardless of the amount.”
Silicon Valley Bank (SVB) marks the second largest bankruptcy in the history of American bankruptcies. A consultant for the Hedge Fund, There It Goes Wealth Management, Theresa Xiou, said this of SVB. “This is a bank that was overly positioning in risky tech stocks and nebulously legal cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin. Most of the major banks, and even credit unions have a much further decentralized scope and risk curve.”
While it’s true that SVB did over position itself in both tech and crypto, the market itself has responded accordingly.
Bitcoin is up 24% on the news.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
NEW YORK CITY — In light of the recent bankruptcies of Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation has issued a definitely in character blanket policy update.
At an emergency press conference their spokesperson said, “While we can appreciate that our only liability was up to a quarter of a million dollars, as we’ve said for decades, in this instance we wanted to insure deposits up to a certain amount, or whatever depositors decided to keep at that bank, whichever is greater.”
A Financial Data Analyst Todd Carlson, from the Venture Capital firm Piranha Capital, had this to say about the recent FDIC maneuver, “There’s been a sense of panic across the nation that people’s money is no longer safe, but this is a clear message from the FDIC to all depositors that your money is safe, even if it isn’t fiscally responsible to insure that, such as with risky mortgage backed securities, venture capital, or if the bank lights were to light it on fire, no matter what, regardless of the amount.”
Silicon Valley Bank (SVB) marks the second largest bankruptcy in the history of American bankruptcies. A consultant for the Hedge Fund, There It Goes Wealth Management, Theresa Xiou, said this of SVB. “This is a bank that was overly positioning in risky tech stocks and nebulously legal cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin. Most of the major banks, and even credit unions have a much further decentralized scope and risk curve.”
While it’s true that SVB did over position itself in both tech and crypto, the market itself has responded accordingly.
Bitcoin is up 24% on the news.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
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