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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
MIAMI — Yuga Labs’ recent trouble with the S.E.C. has the vultures circling.
Pugnacious former President and current opportunist Donald J. Trump is purchasing the suddenly-troubled asset and changing the company’s name from Yuga Labs to “Yuge Labs.”
“I’m the only one who is brave enough to take on those filthy, disgusting government swamp creatures and then lose in embarrassing fashion,” Trump said while doing that weird thing with his hands.
“Plus, my son Eric just loves those creepy little mutant guys. They look just like him.”
The Trump team is acting quickly, filing trademarks for a number of exclusive and restrictive trademarks that foreshadow major changes to Yuga’s most beloved projects.
It’s unclear at this moment if the BAYC collection will continue as-is or become the “Bored Ape Mega-Yacht Club” foreshadowed by today’s filings.
Yuga’s other collections, and their sub-projects, are all set to suffer from the Trump touch.
Two of the new trademarks likely won’t stick. Trump is hoping to re-name the Otherside as “The Upside-Down,” because he really liked Season 5 of Stranger Things.
He also wants to change the name of the mysterious “kodas” to become “Diet Coca-Colas.”
The rest of the proposed changes appear legally valid.
Meebits will become “Mini-me-bits.” In a corresponding update, the project’s artwork will be forcibly updated to an 8-bit version of Trump’s face photoshopped onto the figure of various shirtless male body-builders.
Punk6529’s nascent University in the Metaverse will become “Trump University 2: Electric Metaverse Boogaloo.”
And the project formerly known as CryptoPunks are now to be known collectively as “Cryptkeeper-Pelosi-Sucks.”
The final update will be to the BAKC project, which is now known as “RODKC,” short for the “Rosie O’Donnell Kennel Club.”
If you want more of the hardest hitting headlines sent straight to your inbox subscribe to The Rug’s Newsletter.
MIAMI — Yuga Labs’ recent trouble with the S.E.C. has the vultures circling.
Pugnacious former President and current opportunist Donald J. Trump is purchasing the suddenly-troubled asset and changing the company’s name from Yuga Labs to “Yuge Labs.”
“I’m the only one who is brave enough to take on those filthy, disgusting government swamp creatures and then lose in embarrassing fashion,” Trump said while doing that weird thing with his hands.
“Plus, my son Eric just loves those creepy little mutant guys. They look just like him.”
The Trump team is acting quickly, filing trademarks for a number of exclusive and restrictive trademarks that foreshadow major changes to Yuga’s most beloved projects.
It’s unclear at this moment if the BAYC collection will continue as-is or become the “Bored Ape Mega-Yacht Club” foreshadowed by today’s filings.
Yuga’s other collections, and their sub-projects, are all set to suffer from the Trump touch.
Two of the new trademarks likely won’t stick. Trump is hoping to re-name the Otherside as “The Upside-Down,” because he really liked Season 5 of Stranger Things.
He also wants to change the name of the mysterious “kodas” to become “Diet Coca-Colas.”
The rest of the proposed changes appear legally valid.
Meebits will become “Mini-me-bits.” In a corresponding update, the project’s artwork will be forcibly updated to an 8-bit version of Trump’s face photoshopped onto the figure of various shirtless male body-builders.
Punk6529’s nascent University in the Metaverse will become “Trump University 2: Electric Metaverse Boogaloo.”
And the project formerly known as CryptoPunks are now to be known collectively as “Cryptkeeper-Pelosi-Sucks.”
The final update will be to the BAKC project, which is now known as “RODKC,” short for the “Rosie O’Donnell Kennel Club.”
If you want more of the hardest hitting headlines sent straight to your inbox subscribe to The Rug’s Newsletter.
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